An Indoor Nerd’s Ode to Nature

//An Indoor Nerd’s Ode to Nature

I don’t spend a lot of time outside. I love the outdoors, I just don’t like that sometimes I have to share it with others.

We love to go out to the porch in the mornings and drink our coffee. But our smoking neighbors,their dog and their kids always have first dibs.

I like the idea of camping, but unless it’s in a cabin with a flushable toilet or in our million dollar dream RV with a private driver, forget it.

I love lying on the beach with the glorious sunshine on my face listening to the lap of the waves. But, I don’t like sand kicked on me and listening to thousands of locals and out of towners talk about the dangers of technology and how their kids never get outside anymore. Even our nude beach is a cluster fuck of college kids and looky loos.

So it’s not that I don’t like going outside, I just don’t like going outside with other people.

But, I do love adventure if I’m properly prepared. Shitty footwear, lack of bug spray and bad directions are a perfect recipe for tears and a meltdown, but when I’m prepped I’m down for almost anything.  Because, I fucking L<3VE this planet! I mean nature is CRAZY you guys!  Holy crap. The earth beneath our feet is magical. The dirt grows shit. It’s like the womb of the planet. In the spring, without even telling them to, flowers that I never even planted come out of the ground? Something triggers them to die in Octoberish and then something in the air mixed with the sun and warmth magic brought them back to life.

The local ant colony sends out scouts into our house every day.  Before I ask it politely to leave via the toilet, I marvel at the thought that this brave soul was asked by the queen to forge forward into strange and foreign lands in order to find somewhere to accommodate their ever growing population. Maybe the queen didn’t ask it personally, but someone has to tell them what to do, right? If not the queen who? Mother fuckin’ that’s who.

A bird starts singing at 4:30 every morning. Before the sun is even hinting at coming up. I imagine there’s some kind of internal clock that wakes it up and tells them to start calling it’s friends. They probably made that one bird the alert for all the other birds, but that still doesn’t answer the question how it knows to start doing that. I know what woke me up at 4:30. I hope that stupid bird is having fun with it’s friends.

It’s not just nature that baffles me it’s this planet. Take Dehumidifiers for instance.  I am shocked by how much water comes out of the air on a muggy afternoon. The hard to breath feeling when it’s hot is literally us drowning, kind of.  So, if it gets muggy enough could a fish potentially breath on land? Will someone get back to me on this.  Also, is that embryonic fluid from The Abyss real? Because I imagine that’s what it feels like to try and breath in the humidity of the deep south.

The planet is amazing. I may spend a lot of my time indoors, but that doesn’t mean I don’t soak in the energy of it all. When the wind blows from the west I can smell the ocean and I raise my face to the sky and I take it in. Sometimes while walking the dog at the park, I will become so overwhelmed by the smells and sounds that I just close my eyes and allow it to flow through me. It rocks me where I stand.  The ocean fascinates and terrifies me. It’s fierce and alive and I love it. After turning my back once to it I learned my lesson hard.  I respect the shit out of the ocean and I praise the dry earth.

Earth Day to me is about observing the crazy ass nature that’s around me all the time and going “What the fuck?! That’s amazing!” I love watching shows that I don’t understand about the math science and stuff behind it  I hang onto every word and try to wrap my head around the physics.  I don’t want to remain ignorant to the greatness and the going ons behind the scenes, but I’m not sure I want to fully understand either.  I love being in awe of the planet, nature and the universe and maybe knowing how the trick is done will take away from the magic. Or maybe not.



By | 2016-04-22T21:07:43+00:00 April 22nd, 2016|POI|Comments Off on An Indoor Nerd’s Ode to Nature